A Mom’s Guide to Surviving Holday Stress: 10 Tips to Thrive This Season
The holiday season is often referred to as the “most wonderful time of the year,” but for many moms, it’s also the most overwhelming. Between the stress of hosting, finding the perfect gifts, keeping up with the holiday to-do lists, and managing everyone’s expectations, it’s no wonder so many moms experience holiday stress. If you’re dealing with perfectionism, parenting challenges, relationship issues, or just need some practical advice to stay sane, you’re in the right place.
Here’s your ultimate holiday survival guide with ten actionable tips for keeping your stress levels low, anxiety in check, and self-care a priority.
So you can actually enjoy the season.
1. Perfectionism: Embrace the Power of “Good Enough”
Holiday stress often spikes when we’re fixated on making everything “perfect.” Many of us feel the holiday season’s pressure to create a Pinterest-worthy experience for our family. Perfectionism can make simple tasks feel monumental, especially if you’re juggling kids, house chores, and holiday prep. Let yourself off the hook by embracing “good enough.” Try to focus on what really matters.
A tree with ornaments placed mostly on the lower half (thanks to your toddler’s decorating skills) is still beautiful. A simple dinner with close friends and family can be more heartwarming than an elaborate banquet. Remember that the people you’re celebrating with care more about spending time together than perfect decorations or matching holiday outfits. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s making memories.
Try This: Set a maximum of three holiday goals or traditions you care most about—like unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning or baking cookies with the kids—then let the other (perfectionsitic) expectations slide.
2. Communicate Boundaries Early and Often
If you’re worried about juggling all the family dynamics—parents, in-laws, cousins, and cranky kids—it’s time to get clear on your boundaries. Setting limits doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you a healthier person. Whether it’s saying no to hosting or setting a time limit on visits, protecting your emotional and mental energy is a necessity. Communicate these boundaries early and be consistent so that everyone knows what to expect. And remember: holiday stress increases when we put others’ comfort before our well-being.
Try This: Decide with your partner what works best for your immediate family, and then let your extended family know your plans early. If they’re accustomed to seeing you do all the work, it may feel uncomfortable at first, but they’ll adjust—and you’ll gain some peace in the process.
3. Limit Holiday Commitments
From kids’ school functions and family gatherings to neighborhood cookie swaps, the invitations pile up fast.
One of the biggest contributors to holiday stress is feeling obligated to say “yes” to everything and everyone. As a mom, it’s tempting to want to make everyone happy. But if a certain event, gathering, or task is going to add more stress or worry, give yourself permission to say no. The world won’t fall apart if you miss one holiday party or decide not to participate in a gift exchange. Trust that your well-being is more important than pleasing everyone around you.
Try This: Give yourself permission to skip a few activities. Pick the ones that genuinely matter to you and say “no” to the rest. A quick “Thanks for the invite! We’re keeping things low-key this year, so we’ll have to pass” works wonders.
4. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate
This is not the season to do it all on your own. Whether it’s your spouse, kids, or even guests, don’t be shy about delegating tasks. Many moms feel obligated to handle everything themselves. But holiday stress only builds when you’re managing everyone’s responsibilities. Hand over decorating duties to the kids, ask your partner to take care of the shopping, and suggest that guests bring a dish to your holiday meal. Delegating doesn’t mean you’re not capable; it just means you’re human, and sharing the workload can be a huge relief.
Try This: Make a family holiday task list. Divide it by age-appropriate chores, so even the little ones can help with things like setting the table, decorating, or gathering firewood. Giving everyone a part to play not only lightens your load but also brings the family together.
5. Keep Self-Care Non-Negotiable
When holiday stress is creeping up, self-care is often the first thing that is forgotten about. Even 10-15 minutes of “me time” can make a difference. Whether it’s a hot bath, reading a chapter of a book, meditating, or a short walk around the neighborhood, self-care allows you to reset and recharge. The holidays can be overwhelming, but carving out time to take care of yourself should be a non-negotiable part of your holiday routine.
Try This: Schedule in “me time” daily. Whether it’s a cup of coffee before the kids wake up, a short meditation, or an evening bubble bath, these moments will refill your tank so you can give more freely to others.
6. Take Breaks from Social Media
Scrolling through perfectly curated holiday photos can quickly lead to comparison overload and added stress. Social media can make you feel like everyone else has it all together, but remember, you’re only seeing the highlights.
Try This: Take a social media break for a day or two each week, or limit your scrolling time to ten minutes. If you can, try switching to a “social media detox” where you log out entirely until after the New Year. It’s amazing how freeing it can feel.
7. Keep Expectations Realistic for Kids
Kids can get cranky, hyper, or even upset over small things, especially during the holidays when routines get disrupted. Setting realistic expectations for your kids’ behavior (and realistic expectations for your reactions) can prevent added anxiety or meltdowns.
If they’re younger, explain what’s happening ahead of time to reduce surprises. If they’re older, involve them in the process, from meal planning to gift wrapping, so they feel included and engaged.
Knowing that the kids are going to have their moments can help you stay calm and avoid perfectionism with your parenting approach.
Try This: Instead of hopping from one holiday event to another, plan some quiet, low-stress activities to help your kids (and you) decompress. Build a holiday-themed puzzle together, color holiday pages, or watch a family-friendly holiday movie in your pajamas. These are low-key ways to create memories and soothe overwhelmed kids, making the season feel special without the chaos.
8. Have a Plan for In-Laws and Family Gatherings
Family gatherings can be a major source of stress for many moms, especially if there are unresolved family dynamics or challenging personalities involved. Tension from past conflicts or unspoken disagreements can quickly resurface in a holiday setting, making what should be a joyful occasion feel tense or uncomfortable. Even subtle behaviors—like a family member who tends to criticize, a relative with opposing views, or someone who often brings drama—can add to the stress.
Try This: Create a game plan ahead of time to manage any worries you have about specific family members. Limit the amount of time you spend at gatherings if they’re draining. If you’re hosting, communicate clear start and end times. And if you’re stressed about confrontations, prepare a few “change the subject” phrases. Sometimes, setting boundaries ahead of time can help alleviate that anxiety.
9. Stay Present in Small Moments
In the rush to get everything done, it’s easy to overlook the little moments that actually make the holidays special. Kids may remember the warmth of being together far more than the specifics of how things looked or what they received.
Try This: When you find yourself in the middle of a chaotic moment, take a deep breath and remind yourself that these are the memories you’re creating. Slow down, engage with your kids, savor the taste of a holiday cookie, or really listen to a loved one’s story. Staying present can help you focus on the things that truly matter.
10. Set Aside Time for Reflection and Gratitude
The end of the year is a perfect time to pause, reflect, and recharge. Finding time to be grateful can boost your mood and perspective during stressful days. Even if the holidays haven’t been picture-perfect, focusing on what’s gone right can help you feel a little more grounded.
Try This: Start a simple gratitude practice. Each day, jot down one thing you’re thankful for—whether it’s the laughter shared with your family, the help from a friend, or a quiet moment to yourself. These small reflections can bring a sense of peace and joy that keeps you centered during the holiday rush.
The holiday season can be a challenge for even the most organized and patient moms. But by keeping things simple, setting realistic boundaries, and focusing on what really matters, you can turn the holiday chaos into cherished memories.
Remember, you’re not just “surviving” the holidays; you’re creating a beautiful, imperfect, and memorable experience for your family.
Eleena Hardzinski is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Brainspotting Therapist practicing online in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Wisconsin.
Eleena supports women struggling with motherhood, relationships, past traumas, and anxiety. She helps moms find balance, overcome guilt, establish healthy boundaries, heal from past traumas, improve family communication, and regain confidence and joy in their lives.
