Nurturing Emotional Resilience: A Guide for Parents of Children with Big Feelings
Parenthood can be a wonderful journey filled with various emotions, including joy and laughter. However, it can also be challenging when you have children who experience intense emotions. As a therapist who has worked with such families, I understand the unique struggles that you may face. It is not unusual for children to experience big feelings, and as parents, your role in supporting them is huge. In this blog post, my goal is to share some practical tips to help you foster emotional resilience in your children.
Ways to Help Your Child With Their Big Feelings
In the next few paragraphs, you will learn seven effective ways to help your child learn how to express their emotions in a healthy manner.
Validate Their Big Feelings
When it comes to supporting your child with big emotions, one of the first steps is to acknowledge what they’re feeling. Let them know that it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions and that they can always come talk to you without the fear of being judged. It’s a good idea to come up with some go-to phrases to validate their feelings when your child has expressed them to you, such as “That sounds like a big deal, do you want to talk about it more?” or “I’m glad you told me about that, I can see why you’re feeling that way.” Remember to create a safe space for them to express themselves, as it’s crucial for their emotional well-being.
Teach Emotional Intelligence
Help your child understand and identify their emotions. Make it a game where you model different facial expressions for feelings and take turns guessing which feeling you’re modeling. Use age-appropriate language to label feelings and discuss the triggers that lead to these emotions. “I noticed you looked sad when I told you you couldn’t have that piece of candy.” Encourage them to express themselves verbally or through art, providing them with constructive outlets for emotional release.
Practice Mindfulness Together
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing intense emotions. Introduce simple mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing or guided visualization. Engaging in mindfulness practices regularly can help your child develop a sense of calmness and self-awareness. Practice a game of “I-Spy”. Pick a color that can be found in the room that your child is sitting in. While seated and still ask your child to use their eyes to scan the room and count how many items they see of that specific color.
Establish Consistent Routines
Children thrive on routine, and having a predictable daily schedule can provide a sense of security. Consistency helps regulate emotions and reduces anxiety, especially for children who may struggle with uncertainty. General schedules may vary from day to day. It’s important to also teach flexibility in schedules. Each day, try to establish routines for waking up (go to bathroom, eat breakfast, brush teeth, change out of pajamas into day clothes), before meals (wash hands, sit at the table), out the door (shoes, coat, homework, backpack, lunch), and bedtime (lower lights, change into pajamas, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, read, lights out).
Encourage Problem-Solving
One effective way to teach your child problem-solving skills is to involve them in finding solutions to challenges. This approach not only empowers them, but also helps them develop resilience and coping mechanisms for handling difficult situations. If it’s an appropriate time, you can pause a situation and go back to a scenario that just happened. Then, ask your child what could have been done differently, knowing what they know now. Accept their answers and guide them in choosing the appropriate scenario.
Lead By Example
Children learn a lot by watching their parents. It is important for parents to demonstrate healthy emotional expression, coping strategies, and problem-solving skills in their own lives. This shows children that even adults experience big emotions and that it is okay to manage them. It is also normal for parents to make mistakes in their parenting. However, an extremely important thing for a parent to do is to own up to their mistake, apologize to their child, and move forward by practicing different actions.
Seek Professional Support
If your child’s intense emotions persist and significantly impact their daily life, consider contacting Eleena Hardzinski, LMFT at Mosaic Reflections. Eleena specializes in working with children and can provide valuable insights and support for both you and your child. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation.
Parenting is a continuous journey of learning and growing for both you and your child. By embracing the challenges and proactively working to support your child’s emotional well-being, you are establishing a strong foundation for their future resilience and emotional intelligence. Together, you can manage the highs and lows of intense emotions, cultivating a deeper connection and understanding within your family.
