Confessions of Overwhelmed Moms
Every mom has a secret…
“I occasionally (okay, frequently) lock myself in the bathroom for some peace and quiet.”
It might not be glamorous, but it’s a survival tactic—a desperate bid to escape the chaos of kids screaming, your teenager picking a fight, your partner asking where their keys are (again), and the endless cycle of laundry that seems to multiply like rabbits. If you’re a mom reading this, chances are you’ve been there too.
The Everyday Chaos of Overwhelmed Moms
From the moment your feet hit the floor in the morning, it’s go-time. There’s breakfast to make, messes to clean, homework to oversee, and let’s not even talk about your own work or personal needs. The idea of five uninterrupted minutes feels like a luxury.
“I tell my kids we’re out of snacks at home so I have an excuse to go through the drive-thru… but really, it’s because I need a coffee and five minutes of silence while they eat fries.”
For many overwhelmed moms, this constant motion leads to a simmering frustration that’s hard to shake. You’re trying to be everything for everyone, but you can feel yourself slipping through the cracks. By the end of the day, you’re tapped out, questioning your patience, your parenting, and sometimes your sanity.
A Bathroom Retreat: A Stressed Mom’s Secret Weapon
“I sit on the toilet for an extra five minutes just so no one will bother me.”
“The bathroom has become my escape hatch. It’s the one place where I can’t hear the toddler tantrum in full stereo or be asked to referee a sibling spat.” Of course, it’s not foolproof; many kids have been known to pick the lock, slip notes under the door, or stage a full-scale meltdown outside it. “But for a few fleeting moments, it’s just me and the sound of… nothing.”
This isn’t just quirky behavior. For stressed moms, these small moments of retreat can prevent an emotional meltdown. It’s about carving out a sliver of time to breathe, even if it’s on a cold toilet seat, scrolling Instagram, or just staring at the wall.
When Quiet Time Isn’t Enough: The Toll of Constantly Overwhelmed Moms
“Sometimes I pretend I don’t hear my name being called because if I respond to one more ‘Mom?’ I might actually lose it.”
The bathroom might offer a temporary reprieve, but it’s not a long-term solution. Over time, the constant stress and pressure to keep everything together take a toll on your mental health. You might notice:
- Irritability: Snapping or yelling at your kids or partner over minor things.
- Exhaustion: Feeling like no matter how much you sleep, you’re never fully rested.
- Loss of Identity: Wondering where the person you used to be has gone.
- Anxiety or Depression: Worrying about everything or feeling numb to the things you used to enjoy.
If these sound familiar, you’re not alone. Therapy for overwhelmed moms can be a game-changer, offering tools and strategies to help you feel more balanced and less like you’re drowning.
Therapy for Overwhelmed Moms: Why It’s Essential
Starting therapy isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about reclaiming your life. Talking to a therapist can help you process the guilt, frustration, and exhaustion that come with parenting. It’s a space where you can be honest about how hard it is—without fear of judgment.
One powerful method to consider is Brainspotting Therapy. Designed to address deep-seated emotional and physical stress, brainspotting helps you tap into your body’s natural ability to heal. For moms carrying the invisible weight of past traumas, unmet expectations, or chronic overwhelm, this therapy can help you find relief and clarity.
Practical Steps For Overwhelmed Moms to Stop Hiding in the Bathroom (Well, as Much)
If you’re ready to move beyond bathroom lock-ins, here are some strategies to start reclaiming your sanity:
1. Set Boundaries
- Teach your kids (and partner) that moms need space too.
- Use a visual cue like a “mom time” sign on the door.
- “No”, “I don’t have time”, or “I can’t”, are clear and effective responses to those that are asking something of you that you can’t commit to.
2. Schedule “Me Time”
- Book time for yourself like it’s a non-negotiable meeting. Whether it’s a yoga class or a coffee date alone, make it happen.
- Spend just a few minutes every day (multiple times per day) just taking a pause, a moment for a deep breath, or just a second to be mindful.
3. Find a Therapist
- Therapy for overwhelmed moms can give you tools to handle stress and understand what’s triggering your emotions. Ask about options like brainspotting therapy for a focused approach to healing.
4. Connect with Fellow Moms
- Join a mom’s group or online community. Sharing stories with other stressed moms can remind you that you’re not in this alone.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
- Cut yourself some slack. You’re not failing; you’re human. Life and what you’re doing doesn’t have to be perfect. Remind yourself that good enough is just that—good enough.
Why Brainspotting Therapy Works for Stressed Moms
Brainspotting might sound a little out there, but it’s rooted in neuroscience and designed to help you process emotional pain in a way traditional talk therapy sometimes can’t. By focusing on specific points in your visual field, brainspotting helps uncover and release unresolved emotions stored in the body.
For moms juggling a million things, this type of therapy can:
- Reduce feelings of overwhelm
- Address past traumas impacting your parenting
- Improve emotional regulation, making it easier to handle daily stressors
- Help you reconnect with your sense of self
It’s like decluttering your emotional closet—making room for the calm, confident mom you want to be.
Let’s Normalize the Bathroom Break (and Getting Help): Therapy For Overwhelmed Moms
Hiding in the bathroom from your kids doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you a resourceful one. But if you’ve started to feel like you can’t hold it all together much longer, know there’s help available.
Therapy for overwhelmed moms and tools like brainspotting therapy aren’t indulgences—they’re lifelines. You deserve support, space, and strategies to thrive, not just survive. So, the next time you’re locked in the bathroom, take a deep breath and remember: you are not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re ready to stop hiding and start healing, reach out to a therapist who understands what you’re going through. Whether it’s brainspotting therapy or a simple conversation, you deserve to feel whole again. Because a healthier, happier you isn’t just good for you—it’s good for your family too.
Eleena Hardzinski is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Brainspotting Therapist who practices online in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Wisconsin.
Eleena supports women struggling with motherhood, relationships, past traumas, ADHD, anxiety, and more. She helps overwhelmed moms find balance, overcome guilt, establish healthy boundaries, heal from past traumas, improve family communication, and regain confidence and joy in their lives.
