Is It ADHD or Am I Just Overwhelmed?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever lost your keys while holding them, found yourself in the pantry wondering why you walked in there, or spent 30 minutes looking for your phone only to find it in your back pocket. (No shame — we’ve all been there…I’ve even been looking for my phone while talking on my phone!) If you’re a mom trying to juggle a million things at once, you might start to wonder: Is this just being an overwhelmed mom, or could it actually be ADHD?
As a therapist who works with overwhelmed moms, stressed-out moms, and moms who wonder if ADHD therapy could help them, I’m here to break down the differences and similarities between ADHD and plain ol’ overwhelm. Spoiler alert: they can look a lot alike! But understanding what’s going on can make a big difference in figuring out how to feel better.
What Overwhelm and ADHD Have in Common
First, let’s get one thing straight: being overwhelmed isn’t a personality flaw or a sign that you’re failing. It happens when life demands more from you than you have the bandwidth to handle. For moms, this can look like:
- Running late to school drop-off because someone couldn’t find their shoes.
- Forgetting your coffee in the microwave (again!).
- Feeling like your to-do list is a scroll that unrolls across the floor like Santa’s Naughty and Nice List.
Sound familiar? Now let’s talk ADHD. Moms with ADHD experience similar struggles, but the cause is different. ADHD is a neurological condition that affects focus, impulse control, and executive functioning (that’s the fancy way of saying your brain’s “organizer” sometimes calls in sick). ADHD therapy can help address those challenges directly, but many of the symptoms overlap with feeling overwhelmed:
- Distracted? Check.
- Forgetful? Double-check.
- Feeling jittery, unfocused, or unmotivated? Triple-check.
When you’re an overwhelmed mom or a mom with ADHD, life can feel like you’re stuck in an endless game of Whac-A-Mole… except the moles are wearing soccer cleats, asking for snacks, or begging you for screen time.
How to Tell the Difference Between ADHD and Overwhelm
So, how do you know if it’s ADHD or just overwhelm? Here are a few clues:
1. What Happens When Things Calm Down?
If life slows down (say, the kids are at Grandma’s for the weekend or you’ve had a glorious solo grocery trip), does your brain start to feel less scattered? Overwhelm tends to ease when the chaos dies down. ADHD, on the other hand, doesn’t take a vacation. Even in quiet moments, your brain might still feel like it’s juggling flaming swords.
2. What’s Your History?
Think back to before kids. (Yes, I know it’s blurry, but try.) Were you the kid who was always forgetting homework, or the teenager who couldn’t focus during a test? ADHD doesn’t suddenly appear in adulthood. If you’ve always struggled with focus and organization, that’s a big clue.
3. Do You Hyperfocus?
This might surprise you, but ADHD isn’t just about being distracted. Moms with ADHD might also experience hyperfocus, where you get so locked into something (like scrolling TikTok or reorganizing the craft supplies) that hours fly by. Overwhelmed moms, on the other hand, are less likely to hyperfocus and more likely to feel pulled in every direction.
4. What’s Your Energy Level?
Overwhelm often feels like you’re running on empty (because you probably are). ADHD can be more like an energy rollercoaster. One minute you’re buzzing with ideas, the next you’re glued to the couch with zero motivation.
Why It Matters
Here’s the deal: Whether you’re dealing with overwhelm or ADHD, you’re not alone, and help is available. But the strategies that work best depend on what’s really going on. Therapy for overwhelmed moms might focus on finding balance, setting boundaries, or learning to ask for help. ADHD therapy, on the other hand, might include strategies for managing time, boosting focus, or exploring medication options.
Getting the right support can mean the difference between feeling like you’re always playing catch-up and finally feeling like you’re in the driver’s seat.
5 Tips for Managing Both Overwhelm and ADHD
Whether you’re dealing with overwhelm, ADHD, or both, here are a few therapist-approved tips to help:
1. Start Small
When your to-do list feels overwhelming, pick one small thing to tackle. For example, instead of “Clean the house,” start with “Fold the blankets on the couch.” “Put away the dishes from the dishwasher.” Get specific and start with tasks that will take 5 minutes or less. This will help you feel accomplished and give you the motivation to eventually keep going!
2. Use External Reminders
Post-it notes, timers, phone alarms, the old-fashioned to-do list — these are your best friends. They’ll help you stay on track whether your brain is fried from overwhelm or wandering from ADHD.
3. Create a “Brain Dump” List
Take a few minutes to jot down everything swirling in your head. Getting it on paper can help reduce mental clutter and give you a clearer sense of what needs attention. Don’t worry about grammar, handwriting, or spelling. Just get it out!
4. Prioritize Self-Care
I know, I know. Self-care sounds impossible when you’re barely getting through the day. But even small acts, like drinking water or taking a few deep breaths, can make a big difference. Take a moment to be mindful- notice your 5 senses at the moment, or pick out the details of an object in front of you.
5. Get Support: Therapy For Overwhelmed Moms
Therapy can be a game-changer. A therapist can help you untangle what’s going on and develop tools to manage the chaos, whether it’s caused by overwhelm, ADHD, or both.
When to Reach Out
If you’re nodding along to this post and thinking, “This is me,” it’s time to reach out for help. Therapy for overwhelmed moms and ADHD therapy are here to give you the support you need to thrive. You don’t have to keep spinning your wheels or wondering what’s wrong with you. Spoiler alert: Nothing is wrong with you. You just need the right tools and support.
Let’s face it: Mom life is hard enough without feeling like you’re drowning. Whether you’re dealing with symptoms of ADHD, overwhelm, or a combination of the two, therapy can help you find calm in the chaos and get back to feeling like yourself again. And trust me, you deserve it.
So, take a deep breath, grab your (microwaved) coffee, and let’s figure this out together. Because you’re not just a mom. You’re a mom who deserves to feel supported, understood, and capable of handling whatever life throws your way. You’ve got this — and I’ve got your back.
Eleena Hardzinski is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Brainspotting Therapist who practices online in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Wisconsin.
Eleena supports women struggling with motherhood, relationships, past traumas, ADHD, and anxiety. She helps overwhelmed moms find balance, overcome guilt, establish healthy boundaries, heal from past traumas, improve family communication, and regain confidence and joy in their lives.
